This is where i can come to write down all of my thoughts, expressions, hopes, dreams and fears. This is all the stories, trials and tribulations of being an army wife

Monday, February 23, 2009

My personal thoughts

I have this gut feeling that life is really going to suck here.  I have this feeling that I am never going to see john most of the time because earlier we were talking and he was telling me that someone in his unit was asking him if i was independant and he said well we're working on that so that scares me by him telling me that.  That right there just tells me that more than likely i wont be seeing him hardly at all and i just dont know if i can handle that or not and that scares me.  I am so used to having him the way things have been the past year that its going to be hard to try to adjust to anything else.  I am scared i am just going to screw up like I usually do or that i am just not going to be able to handle things all by myself. I am so worried about alot of things but i can't tell john any of this because he would just think i am weak and stupid.  I only just wish i could really open up and tell him all of these feelings but he would either get mad or just not listen to what i am saying at all.  I am just really unsure if i can readjust to anything other than how its been with us for the past year.